17.06.07
A thought just struck me while compiling a winamp playlist for my evening sky gazing mode. About the random selections we make in life. Like deciding on listening to a new album and than picking a track at random. We have so many similar such random incidents; that choice nature and circumstance throw on us to take an action of coherent importence.
My dilemma is somewhat existentialist in the peculiar way it comes to me. I have a belief in the nothingness of things. Of the ephemerality of this world’s lights and sounds.
The Corrs,” I listen to the radio” playing.
21.06.07. on a sunny late-afternoon when a sick leave was postponed;
i am
a product of my thoughts
my environment and my memories
my peculiar peeves and my endless philosophizing
my schooling and the pros and cons of education
of the conversations under the sky
the daughter of my parents
my brother’s sister
the many relationships we make in life
a child-woman still
the forgotten idealistic bohemia
the understanding of my readings of eclectic books
the desire for coherence in images
made of the mud, salt and soul
the irreverent traditional human being
lots of chatter and silences
a passionate and feeling woman
the disillusionment of modern society’s frills and hypocrisies
sum of all the accidents originating from chaos theory
every lived experience of travels and travelers
a germ in the great scheme of things
a face with two large droopy eyes
the realization of the plays and cinema I watch
scattered words washed away by the waves from the sand
the stories that I heard in my ma’s womb
rain, history, mythology, civilization
a pagan
a mass of raw emotions
inertia, flux and caricatures
the spirit that falls in love with the moon every night
smoke, smoke and smoke
many names, many identities
many things for many people
part of the phantoms in your closet
a sexless nude portrait in the chapel
art and personification
about journeys, dead butterflies on my tabletop
and a long gasp of exhilaration before eventide.
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