Wednesday, July 11, 2007

attempting a self definition if u please;p

17.06.07

A thought just struck me while compiling a winamp playlist for my evening sky gazing mode. About the random selections we make in life. Like deciding on listening to a new album and than picking a track at random. We have so many similar such random incidents; that choice nature and circumstance throw on us to take an action of coherent importence.

My dilemma is somewhat existentialist in the peculiar way it comes to me. I have a belief in the nothingness of things. Of the ephemerality of this world’s lights and sounds.

The Corrs,” I listen to the radio” playing.

21.06.07. on a sunny late-afternoon when a sick leave was postponed;

i am

a product of my thoughts

my environment and my memories

my peculiar peeves and my endless philosophizing

my schooling and the pros and cons of education

of the conversations under the sky

the daughter of my parents

my brother’s sister

the many relationships we make in life

a child-woman still

the forgotten idealistic bohemia

the understanding of my readings of eclectic books

the desire for coherence in images

made of the mud, salt and soul

the irreverent traditional human being

lots of chatter and silences

a passionate and feeling woman

the disillusionment of modern society’s frills and hypocrisies

sum of all the accidents originating from chaos theory

every lived experience of travels and travelers

a germ in the great scheme of things

a face with two large droopy eyes

the realization of the plays and cinema I watch

scattered words washed away by the waves from the sand

the stories that I heard in my ma’s womb

rain, history, mythology, civilization

a pagan

a mass of raw emotions

inertia, flux and caricatures

the spirit that falls in love with the moon every night

smoke, smoke and smoke

many names, many identities

many things for many people

part of the phantoms in your closet

a sexless nude portrait in the chapel

art and personification

about journeys, dead butterflies on my tabletop

and a long gasp of exhilaration before eventide.

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